Caller in Distress

We've got this thing where we "upgrade" calls (that is, try to send help faster) dependent on the caller's level of distress. My fellow despatchers and I have discussed this policy at length and frankly, it's bollocks.

Thing is, everyone reacts to stress in different ways. For example, you might phone the police because your house was burgled while you were out at work. The offender clearly left hours ago so you're in no danger, but you're one of those people who reacts badly to someone being in your castle, so the calltaker raises the priority.

This will make absolutely no difference at all to the despatcher. If we've got an officer to send, we'll send him. However, if we've got another job arrive at the same moment from a caller who is completely calm but in actual physical danger, we're going to despatch an officer to that job first.

We risk assess every job and despatch to those with danger to life, danger to property, and then all the rest - in that order. Bollocks to how distressed the caller is.

Unusually, I'm going to share a piece of personal information with the readership here that - until now - only one other person knows about.

A while back, I had to call an ambulance for my then-partner, the person with whom I was at the time in love with and intended to spend my life with. I believe the ambulance call was necessary, but it wasn't life-threatening in any way - my partner needed medical help sometime within the next few hours, on a Saturday evening, through illness not alcohol, and 999 was the only way to get it.

I'd served my time in the call centre by then, and had been in Despatch for a while too, so I thought I knew the score. I'd been strong in front of my partner, and went upstairs to call the ambulance from the bedroom extension so as not to distress her any more.

And I cried like a little girl all the time I was talking to the ambulance call-taker.

She was completely professional and kept asking her scripted questions, clearly getting my answers through the blubs. I remember apologising for the state I was in, and being calmed by her calmness. By the time I went back downstairs the tears had gone and I was strong for my partner again. The ambulance arrived in due course and all ended well.

I'd like to thank the ambulance service for dealing with my call effectively, while weighing up its merits against other calls. Even when I was crying uncontrollably down the phone I knew that if the same situation had occurred during the week I'd have been on the phone to our GP - but I was distressed. If I believed my call was given higher priority because of that, I'd be deeply embarrassed.

My job is to look at all the incoming calls and treat them with the urgency I believe they deserve, based on the facts presented to me.

I wish my bosses would trust me to get on and do just that.

Gently does it

My last shift was an absolute arse, thanks to the weather which has been occurring over most of the country.

I came out proper cross (and made it home safely, thanks for asking) but not for the usual reasons. There was a lot of air traffic and my ankle actually still aches from pressing the transmit pedal, but it was unavoidable. I don't mind heavy air traffic when it's justified.

No, I was angry because this is the third year in a row that we've had enough snowfall to affect peoples' everyday lives and the county council and the force that I work for don't seem to have reacted in any way. The council are still on their policy of gritting A roads and nothing else. No pavements, no minor roads, no snowploughs - just grit lorries on the A roads.

On the area I worked, we managed to field one Land Rover, a dozen hours after it started snowing. All the other response officers were merrily getting stuck in the usual poxy Astras.

Unusually, a word of thanks goes out to the people of Bravo Sierra's force area. Yes, a lot of you called in because there were kids throwing snowballs and you deserve a special Chocolate Truncheon reward. But all the people out in their cars were generally sensible: we had hundreds of Section 170 calls, but no-one was daft enough to drive fast enough on snow and ice to injure themselves.

This will sound patronising, but it's not meant to: people of Bravoshire, congratulate yourselves on knowing your limits and driving slowly in dangerous conditions. Bumpers can be replaced: people can't.

A slightly more sarcastic "well-done" goes out to the usual characters: most of you managed not to have any domestics while we were busy getting stranded in the snow, so thanks for that.